Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Where in the Hell is R.J. MacReady?

So where in the hell is my good friend R.J. MacReady? As we know from his Texas Court of Criminal Appeals and Icehouse sites, he’s apologized and claimed to be on vacation.

And what’s the one suspicious thing that he’s said on his site? That he’s not in Thailand. Which, of course, means that he is probably in Thailand.

And if he is in Thailand, we have to ask why. And I think I know the answer to that question.

He’s looking for the killer of David Carradine.

We know from R.J.’s prior posts that he’s a big believer in Kung Fu. And if you believe in Kung Fu, then your two superheroes are Carradine and the late Bruce Lee. And if he is off investigating what is the holy grail of Kung Fu, he could be in Thailand where Carradine met his demise, or more likely, the epicenter of all things Kung Fu, Hong Kong.

Frankly, his loyal readers deserve to know more. If you read MacReady’s Icehouse regularly, then you recall the post about the “glove shoes” (see the Foot Fist Way above) that his brother (the one with the stronger Kung Fu) gave him for Christmas. I have this vision of MacReady, all decked out in khaki slacks and shirt, replete with khaki Stetson, a safari outfit if you will but replete with the FIVE FINGERS CLASSIC shoes his brother gave him, trekking through the jungles of some asian country seeking the truth, seeking the masters of Kung Fu, seeking answers to the mysteries of the demises of Bruce Lee and David Carradine, and most certainly, seeking a cold beer because you know it’s hotter than Houston in August in the asian jungles.

And I take part of the blame for this. A few weeks ago, I told him about the theory of Carradine’s demise, as espoused by the non-internet having friend of mine The Master Carpenter, who feels that perhaps some random group of hard core Bruce Lee worshippers or fans, mad because Bruce Lee did not get the title role in the Kung Fu series, caused the ultimate demise. Yeah, I'd have a hard time proving that theory in a court of law beyond a reasonable doubt, for sure.

So who out there in blogland will join me if I decide to get a wild hair and take off looking for R.J. this weekend? Jason from
Cigars Donuts and Coffee ? So and So from Life after Esq. ? Perhaps even the esteemed but highly mysterious Arthur Seaton from Saturday Night and Monday Morning ?

If'n I find out that he's gone to the Far East without telling me, I'm not going to be happy. You see, there are some kickass guitars made by a company called Tokai in Japan, and Tokai actually makes better copies sometimes than the real thing, meaning, Fender Stratocaster guitars. So if R.J. is in Japan, I'd be wanting him to pick me up an early-80's Tokai Strat copy for a song at a used instrument vendor.

And I'd also want him to get me one of the very cool Shimano Tribal travel fishing rods, which for some stupid reason are not available in the US of A. There is some japanese company selling them on ebay, as with Tokai guitars, albeit for a frickin' astronomical price. So if R.J. was over in that part of the world, I'd be expecting a Tokai strat and a nice Shimano Tribal travel fishing rod upon his return.


  1. Where the hell is Crispin Glover?

  2. I resemble that remark, R.J. But now that you mention it, I have never seen you and Crispin in the same location. Conspiracy or coincidence?

    Could it be that you are really Crispin Glover? Until you mentioned Crispin, I had forgotten of his interest in Kung Fu and his nearly in the face kick to Letterman so many years ago.

  3. I'll go with you to find him but I really don't want to go to Thailand. Can we look for him somewhere cooler?

  4. What about Aspen? We may not find him there but at least there is a cool breeze in the evening and lots of great places to eat and drink.

    And we can always say we tried to find him.

  5. I like that idea. But let's look for him in Aspen in the winter so we can go skiing!! I'd like to look for him in France. Maybe Greece. Actually, I wouldn't mind looking for him in San Francisco. I do love that city.

  6. It is sort of hot in San Fran right now, according to my friends who live there. We'd be better off looking for him in Sausilito, by the ocean breezes.

    Or maybe, we could starting questioning folks as to his whereabouts in the Napa Valley, at the winery tours. If we hit five or six winery tours, surely we would find someone with info about R.J.